I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
