it hurts more in the daytime
stop calling my apartment porn island.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
