I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
