Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
