TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize
