Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
