Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
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Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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