The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
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are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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