I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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