I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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