the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
