I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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