you turned your livingroom into a bong?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
