Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize