Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
So vagazzling was a success
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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