Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I have demons in me.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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