I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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