I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
