dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
