i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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