God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
