I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
