His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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