"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
