Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
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His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
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