Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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