I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
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i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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