Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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