I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I'm always down for nudity.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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