And to think..we used to do everything sober...
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize