that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
We need a shit load of segways right now
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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