Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
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He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
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Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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