Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
