Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
