I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
