she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
be right there i have to get my cape
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
