All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
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