i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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