I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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