Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
