i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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