Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Randomize
