and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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