I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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