WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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