Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Randomize
