so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You have to summon your inner elephant
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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