yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
