i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Congratulations! We have a period
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
