"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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