Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
