My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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