Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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