you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
