Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
