a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
