Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm too high and old for this...
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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