I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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