i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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