she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
