currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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