What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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