Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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