Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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