High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
