shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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